Talk:Sandon's Blog
Here you guys may write about what you think of the story. Official NRC Review To begin this review, let me make one thing clear: The grammar in this story makes me flinch. Just reading it makes me want to edit this story and fix every last grammatical mistake. However, since right now I'm working on the climax of Dark Realites, I cannot do this now. If this alone is not enough, the author tells the story in a hard way to follow, so that you often miss key plot points. What's even worse is the simple fact that he violates the first rule of writing, show, don't tell.. I quote: Lots of fighting later, The Doctor showed up and killed lots of Akadian elites in seconds! <> said The Doctor. I didn't know who the Karzahni The Doctor was. Yes, he does establish who he is, sorry I missed that. And, in a lack of description, the author writes "Lots of fighting later" and "Killed lots of the Akadian elites in seconds." It seems to me that some of the chapters were slapped together carelessly, with no regard to the overall plot. The story isn't terribly written, in fact, plot-wise, it's quite well done, the continuity remains followable (Which can be a problem in many stories) and the characters show great promise (Except the Doctor. Is he based off the Transformers character? Ah, he is. He's a fun character, though.), but the grammar could be improved extremely. If the grammar and writing were perfect, I'd say this would merit a B. However, because it becomes difficult to follow, and the writing is somewhat simplistic, I have to say a C is more appropriate. Overall grade: 'C- 'Varkanax39 21:18, January 30, 2011 (UTC) ...Actually, he does establish who the Doctor is beforehand. I think you may be ac ting a little bit too harsh here. [[User:TheSlicer|'Sli']][[User talk:TheSlicer|'cer']] [[w:c:custombionicle:User:TheSlicer/Nightwatcher's Review Club|'Out']] 21:27, January 30, 2011 (UTC) Thankies for the review. But i have an explaination on my grammar: At the time i wrote this, i still was in early sixth grade, and i wasn't too good at english, but not directly bad either. But, i have got critique on my stories before, and i am currently writing a longer, better story. But not here, of course. TardirProductions 18:44, March 9, 2011 (UTC) And Varkanax, read the Trivia section. Regards, TardirProductions 22:32, June 4, 2011 (UTC) Imma fix the grammar here to the level of which is my english is in now, then maybe you could re-review it. Also i'll make more chapters and stuff, and go into detail with stuff more. I'm quite a skilled writer now if you look at some of my newer works, but when i made this i had just begun. Read my current skill on this website: http://ghostk.wikia.com/wiki/Ketsueki_Fukush%C5%AB, or just read this again when i'm finished re-writing it. ~~ Regards, TardirProductions 00:06, July 30, 2011 (UTC) Sure, I'll re-review it once you've finished correcting the errors! Just nominate it again here for a review... 'Varkanax ' 00:08, July 30, 2011 (UTC) Ok. It will take around 3-4 weeks to make it better, as i am going on vacation in 6 days. ~~ Regards, TardirProductions 10:07, July 30, 2011 (UTC)